A friend said to me the other day - "Oh you are always that one-breasted woman" - implying somehow that I get over it? Obviously it annoys her that I am so vocal about this - am I supposed to hide it, be somehow more silent, controlled, behave appropriately ?... uhm
Outward manifestations of trauma, and others' lack of comfort with it, may be an issue here - I remember hearing someone say that she had been asked, "Why don't the Jews get over all this Holocaust stuff?". Well her answer was, "When we are good and ready".
Why should I get over it! Is trauma something that somehow we must bury - the marks of loss and pain on our bodies somehow disguised - with what? - plastic surgery, hair dye, a fake boob? Who are we doing this for? And why?
What is "it"! What are we getting over when we silence ourselves from speaking about our absences or draw attention to our appearance...? Are these conversations only to be held in whispered moments with others like us or with therapists?
I have been working around notions of the transabled - those who are able bodied who ache for the
wheelchair, the brace, or the silence of deafness. What might it mean to reconfigure a world in which disability becomes that which is desired, not shunned? It is not the nose job, the breast enlargement, the tummy tuck we are talking about here – seen as perhaps a more acceptable desire – but the need to be a person with a disaiblity. What can the transabled as theoretical model provide?
uhm.......
